Bonding outside of work

Originally published October 25, 2019

It's funny, some of my happiest work-related memories do not take place at work.  Maybe they don't count as "work-related memories", but to me they do.  My best work-related memories are when I do things with coworkers outside of work.  It brings forth a sense of camaraderie and makes work more fun.  I try not to turn down a chance to go out with coworkers, even though I consider myself an introvert and I'm rarely the most talkative person in a group.  Turning down an opportunity to bond with coworkers only makes work feel more isolated and alone.

My favorite coworker-boding moments from my past job happened at Denny's and occasionally Sherry's restaurants.  Our PIC, or Person In Charge, was the one who organized these get-together's.  Usually, she was the latest to get off (being the night manager) and would not get off until midnight.  Since she wanted to go somewhere to eat, we went to one of the only places that was open past midnight: Denny's!  We went to the Denny's in Totem Lake in Kirkland many times, but unfortunately, it is no longer there; instead it has been replaced by a Chick-Fil-A.  But we used to bond over work, and to me those were some of the happiest memories (not just work-related) I have over the last 5 or 6 years.  We also would on occasion go to Sherry's, also in Totem Lake, whenever we felt like going somewhere slightly different.  We ultimately ended up going to only Sherry's after the Denny's closed and was torn down.  

Unfortunately, as is usually the case with a large group of friends, we had a bit of a falling out.  Some people moved on to other jobs and we lost touch.  There was a bit of drama at work that I won't get into, but before our PIC left for another job, she stopped organizing the get-together's.  However, a small faction of us that were part of the get-together's kept the tradition up for a while, extending it to other places because we could go before midnight.  Those places included Tech City (a bar and arcade), the movies, and other various restaurants.  Now that I've left that job, it's just me and my girlfriend (who did work with us) and our close friend.  We had a bit of a hostile work environment at times with all the different personalities, but it sure was fun while it lasted.  Some of the times we went out, we brought along fun card games (usually Cards Against Humanity) to play while we waited for our food and ate.

Now I'm at a new position at a new place, and I just had my first outside of work get-together with them.  We celebrated one of our coworkers' birthday.  At least for me, it takes me a while to get accustomed to people and used to speaking freely around them, so I wasn't the most talkative.  But it's a memory created that I'll remember for my entire time here; something to reminisce about.  

I would suggest most places of work do this.  If I was a boss, I would encourage my employees to socialize outside of work.  As I said earlier, it builds camaraderie and teamwork.  Those who are shy become less shy and more willing to communicate with their coworkers.  I'm still pretty new (in my first month still), so that outing we just had definitely helped me and it makes it much easier to approach anyone I shared this outing with.  I guess this is why most businesses don't completely forbid non-business talk; otherwise if they did, work wouldn't be much fun at all and it would feel like we had all enlisted in some armed service or something.  In summary, bonding at work and away from work helps build not just working relationships but friendships that make work easier and more enjoyable.  It's a win-win situation.